New Book “My Life For Your Life” by Clarke Paris

Clarke Paris the creator of the documentary film and training seminar “The Pain Behind The Badge” has just released his first book entitled “My Life For Your Life”.

My Life For Your Life is the first book to ever address police suicide on such a personal platform.

Order online at www.ThePainBehindTheBadge.com

This book will definitely have an impact on all who read it.

With a synopsis of the author’s career and the struggles he and his family endured as a result of his chosen profession, a chapter written by his wife giving her perspective of that career, and a chapter by David Joseph, a respected psychologist, readers are somewhat prepared when they begin to read about ‘Our Heroes’.

‘Our Heroes’ are 8 featured police officers who took their own lives. Each one of the officers are portrayed as the amazing human beings they were and it is a complete waste and disappointment that they are not with us today.

The most heart wrenching portions of this book however, are the letters from the officers’ loved ones. Letters were written to each officer after their death. Questions like “Why”, “What were you thinking”, “Why didn’t you talk to me”, and “Was it really that hard to ask for help?” are asked and of course, will never be answered by the one they are asking.

My Life For Your Life not only tells a story, but explains to police officers,…  Continue reading

Police Officer Builds a New Life after Suicide Attempt

CopsAlive was honored this week to be able to interview a police officer who attempted suicide and survived, and has maintained their career. This is critical to our discussion about wellness in law enforcement because we have a problem in our industry that we need to fix. Statistics indicate that somewhere between 2-6 times more officers kill themselves each year than are murdered in the line of duty. Police officer suicides are an issue that is long overdue for serious discussion within our profession.

It seems that the person who is best suited to describe this problem is someone who has been there, and lived through the depression leading up to a suicide attempt. Officer Kathleen Graves of the Seattle Police Department is just such a person, who after a lifetime of battling chronic pain, an addiction to pain killers, and bouts with depression, attempted to take her own life a little over a year ago. She created an elaborate plan to give away all of her worldly belongings, including her beloved dog, and even checked into a hotel room under an assumed name. She chose a hotel outside of her own jurisdiction to avoid traumatizing her peers, then she took a massive amount of pain killers. When she realized she hadn’t died, she took even more pills but was found by her rescuers before they could kill her. Her story is fascinating, and even more crucial for other officers to hear, because she was rescued, despite her own efforts to hide from her rescuers, and has been able to rebuild her life and her career. It is a remarkable story of tragedy and triumph. It is also a great starting point for an informed discussion about police officer suicides.

You can CLICK the play button here to listen to our 55 minute interview:

Or you can download the 10 MB mp3 file by using a RIGHT CLICK HERE to start the download (that’s CONTROL CLICK if you use a Mac then SAVE LINK AS…) of a copy of the mp3 file.

In our interview you will hear Officer Graves, a 14 year veteran, talk about her battles with chronic pain; her struggle with depression (a condition faced by many police veterans) and her feeling of burnout. She describes… Continue reading

Police Suicides Finally Make Front Page News


Thanks to American Police Beat and the San Francisco Police Officer’s Association for putting the issue of police officer suicides on the “front page”.  On the front page of their February 2011 edition, American Police Beat magazine features an article by Gary Delagnes the president of the San Francisco Police Officer’s Association entitled: “We need to talk about suicides”.

Police officer suicides are an issue that is long since overdue for serious discussion within our profession.  We need active discussion, awareness training and action because If we don’t care about it, who will.  We are leaving a legacy for our police families to deal with because we are too ignorant or afraid to handle the fact that more of our brothers and sisters are falling at their own hands than are being murdered in the line of duty.  This is an issue that should be discussed in Command Staff meetings as much as in Roll Call sessions about the world.  CLICK HERE for a copy of our Roll Call discussion guide.

The Problem

Statistics indicate that somewhere between 2-6 times more officers kill themselves each year than are killed by the bad guys.

A quarter of female police officers and nearly as many male officers assigned to shift work had thought about taking their own lives, a study of police work patterns and stress has shown*.

What to Do?

We Need to Discuss This Topic Now.  It should be a part of Roll Call Training and at every level of your organization.  We should ask:

Did You Know Someone Who Committed Suicide?
Have You Ever Contemplated Suicide Yourself?
How Should We Help Someone We Think May Be Contemplating Suicide?

Possible Warning Signs of Impending Suicide** Continue reading